His eyes were kind but also full of frenzy. I stared in them as he surrounded my face with his hands – the rough skin pressing gently against mine. The touch was warm, loving.
“Casavir”, I whispered when I saw the love in his eyes.
“Gods forbid me, but I cannot hold it in any longer. I love you, my lady.”
I opened my mouth to answer to his words but before I could utter a sound, his lips were on mine. They were gentle at first, as if a cloth was brushing over them, then his grasp became more firm. His lips started to devour mine. I could taste his desire. Did I want to answer to his embrace? My body moved on its own and I found myself clinging to him like I was drowning.
His arms wrapped around me and he crushed my figure against his. Our lips moved in unison until I pulled out of the hot, loving and gentle embrace. I looked into his eyes, seeing only frenzy. His breathing was heavy and he looked like he was about to snap.
To my biggest surprise, he kneeled in front of me, offering his sword to me. “My lady! I have offended you! I will accept any punishment you wish me to suffer in your hands.”
“Casavir, don’t be so dramatic”, I said indignantly.
He lifted his face and looked at me like a lost little puppy. It was ironic. Bishop had said just that when I first met Casavir on the day of the ball. But for some reason, I was utterly infatuated by his look. So lost, so helpless and defenseless against his own betraying feelings. What did he really feel? He was a paladin, he had made his vows. As much as I wanted him, I knew quite well it would not come true. Our love would never be consumed.
“My lady…” he started but then he fell into silence.
“Listen, my knight, you did not offend me. If I wanted you dead or punished, I would have let that dead dragon do it for me when it was still alive or I would have told Cael to shoot you full of arrows. I didn’t because I care about you.”
I did mean it. Ever since the day of the ball I had found myself thinking of Casavir every now and then. No matter what Bishop had said, Casavir won me over with his politeness, consideration and gentleness. And I had a thing for guys that brought some challenge. Easy prey was never good game.
“My lady, your grace is far too much for someone like me. I have broken my own vows. I gave into my own desire. I should not be forgiven.”
I saw a change in his eyes. His voice resonated deep from his chest. He looked so determined and yet confused. I knew he spoke the truth when it came to his feelings but to ask me to kill him for sins he didn’t commit. To him… I was a sin but also an absolution.
“Casavir, get up. Let’s talk when we get to Markarth”, I said, glancing around. The day was changing into night and the Reach was even more dangerous during the dark. “Cael and his men must have cleared us a path by now. If we hurry we might get to Markarth by nightfall.”
Speaking of the devil. I saw Cael appear behind the rocks, riding his elk. He stared at me for a long moment before he turned around and rode off. I think he wanted to tell me that the path was clear or he wanted to check if I was still alive – or at least still wearing my clothes.
I sighed deeply. I’ve never had this many suitors in my whole life. First the ranger, then Cael with his poetry and now Casavir who had totally stolen my heart. Bishop was the first love in my life but like they say – last love lasts forever.
“My lady, I still must profusely apologize for my–”, Casavir started as he stood up.
“Leave it for later. Thank your luck I have a home in Markarth, we don’t need to use an inn.”
Casavir stared at me bemused. I saw slight blush coloring his groomed cheeks.
“Wouldn’t a public place be more… safe?”
“We’re safe in my home –” I started before I realized what he was talking about. “Hah! Don’t worry paladin, I’ll just Unrelenting Force you back to your senses if you try anything. I’m not a helpless little girl you know. I can take care of myself.”
With that said, we started the hike towards Markarth. I was surprised how peaceful our journey there was. No beasts, no forsworn, just Casavir and I walking in silence.
I returned to the day of the ball. I remembered how gently Casavir had led me in a waltz before Bishop came crashing the whole thing. Even if I had seen Casavir’s eyes flicker with growing desire, I would have taken care of it myself. I didn’t need Bishop, I didn’t need anyone. I was the Dragonborn – saviour of the world – and I was a woman that yearned to be loved.
Casavir took a firm grip from my arm and pulled me back. I stared at a deep, steep ravine. I had been lost so deep in my own thoughts I didn’t realize I was about to fall to my certain doom. I turned to look at the knight.
“Please, do be careful, my lady. The Reach is dangerous. One false step and you’ll fall to your death.”
I glanced around. Up on the hill, I saw a silhouette of an elk with a rider on its back drawn against the twilight sky. Cael no doubt. He disappeared soon after his friends joined him. I turned my eyes on Casavir.
“Thank you, Casavir, for saving me. I should be more careful. The Reach is beautiful but very treacherous.”
I looked deep into the knight’s eyes and smiled as I saw concern spiced with love. He looked so adorable. He let go of my arm and offered his own. I wrapped my hands around it and we walked the road together.
I could not help but to feel like we were being watched. I knew Cael and his friends were close by – as he had said he’d be my shadow – but I felt so threatened and alert. I was extremely uncomfortable. I would need to talk about it with the young chieftain when I next time have the chance.
Other than the feeling of being constantly watched, the journey to Markarth was uneventful.
“Welcome to my humble abode”, I said when we entered Vlindrel Hall. My housecarl greeted me the same way as usual. I told him that Casavir was my guest and he had to be treated with respect.
“My lady, I can rent a room at the inn, I do not wish to be –”
“If I say you are my guest, then you are my guest. Now please, do me a favour and shut your mouth and be yourself like home. I’m going to take a bath.”
I took off my helmet and threw it to my housecarl who caught it mid-air.
“See that our guest is entertained while I relax in the bath”, I told him and entered my luxurious dwemer themed bathroom.
The warm water soothed my aching and tense body. All the fighting, all the things that had happened – washed away by simply letting its warmth spread through my aching muscles. I needed to talk some things through with Cael. What happened today was a bit of an overkill. I hope he wasn’t mad. My mind wandered back to when his velvet lips touched my neck. I pressed my hand on the spot and quickly wiped it with a cloth and soap then proceeded to wash myself completely. I would not like to keep Casavir waiting for too long.
Once I had finished with my bath and dried myself off, I decided to dress nicely for the occasion. I went to my bedroom and searched for the gown Casavir had given me. I put it on and combed through my locks, enjoying the way the comb slid through my silky tresses. Once I was done, I went to the main hall only to see the table set for late dinner – with candles lit, a table set for two and at the end was Casavir, his normal armor was replaced by some fine clothes.
“Oh my!” I exclaimed. I was surprised by the gesture but I was more surprised how handsome Casavir looked in such fine clothes.
“You look lovely, my lady”, Casavir said as he approached me – dressed like a nobleman. Gods, he looked dashing! All the armor he wore didn’t make him any justice. Now he looked like a prince. The outfit was all white, darker than usual, but white. The shirt was lined with fur and gold chains that started from shoulders and they united mid-chest. The sleeves were long and they had golden fishnet-like embroidery. The trousers were held by a golden belt and boots had fur lined in them. His muscular figure fit perfectly in the outfit, making him absolute dashing justice. I was surprised how well the white fine clothes went with his skin, dark hair and steel blue eyes.
He offered me his arm and I wrapped mine around it and he walked me to the table. Like the gentleman he was, he pulled the chair out so I could sit down. Giving a small ‘thanks’, I sat down and he pushed the chair towards the table. He sat next to me.
“I took the liberty of preparing a late dinner for us, my lady. I hope I’m not too intrusive.”
“Nonsense, Casavir! I was going to ask you if you wanted to eat after I took my bath!” I laughed and was about to pour some wine for myself when Casavir took the bottle.
“Please, allow me, my lady”, he said and he poured some of the red, aromatic liquid into the silver goblet. He poured some for himself too.
“Oh, I thought you didn’t drink”, I said as I took a sip.
“Even a paladin enjoys some wine every now and then.” he said with a gentle smile and by the Divines he looked so dashing!
I raised my goblet for a toast. After small hesitation he, too, raised his.
“Bottoms up, Paladin! We beat a legendary dragon today! We should celebrate our grand victory!”
We laughed, we ate, we drank. We discussed. Wine flowed like water down our throats. And the food was delicious! Casavir was always the gentleman, keeping the discussion in proper manners, even though he sometimes blushed when I was too blunt about something.
“C’moooon Cassyy!” I slurred and then giggled. “Tee-hee! A Cassy! I’ll call you Cassy from now on! Yesh!” I pinched his red cheeks. “You! Tee-hee! You look soooh adorbs when you blussssshhh!”
“My lady, I think you’ve drank too much wine. You should go rest”, his resonating voice was amused but still so very annoyingly strict.
“You…”, I stood up and straddled his lap while emptying the goblet. “You are soooh shtifff! Have fuuuuuun a little! Like thish!”
I dropped the goblet on the table, probably splashing some leftover wine on the tablecloth but did I care? No. I wrapped my arms around his neck only to see him go tense. Oh how I loved that lost little puppy look on his face.
“Cassyy, do you nots luv meh? I luv you too!”
“M-my lady, please, you should retire. The night is turning to dawn”, he said gently, holding me safely in his arms.
“Shut uppp! I wants youuu.”
I pressed myself tighter against him and made sure he felt my curves against his muscular body. I tried to smile seductively – tried – but it probably was an ugly grimace. I met his hard steel eyes.
“My lady”, his tone was strict. “Even the Dragonborn should know her limits. Please, my lady, allow me to escort you to your chambers.”
“It’s called a bedroooom, Cassy! Bedroom!” I giggled. “The – uh – place where weeee shleep together!”
“My lady, please, allow me to help you” he was about to lift me into his arms but I stopped him.
“Lets me ask you a queshtion, Cassy!” I slapped his shoulder gently.
He looked at me with a question in his eyes and his cheeks started to bloom like red roses. “Yes my lady?”
“Whyyy aren’t you… drunk? I shwear you drunk at least twoo… bottles… empty… My goblet ish empty! Barmaid! Moooore wine! Wait, where ish my goblet? I shwear I had it… “
“My lady, I do enjoy a drink every now and then but never to the same condition where you are right now.”
“Mmm, thou art the daftest person I haaave ever… everrrr met!!” I poked his cheek with my finger, trying to annoy him. “Here, kisss meh!” I pointed at my lips. “Right heeeere, Cassy! Even the dragonsh! I mean the Draugrbarn has needs! ME HAS NEEDS! I needs you, Cassy.” I tried to sound pleadingly seductive but I think I was just sobbing against his shoulder.
Casavir sighed deeply. He surrounded my face gently with his palms and his warm lips brushed over mine. Before he was able to retreat, I tugged his hair and pressed his lips tighter against mine. He sighed again, devouring my lips, catching me off-guard. I let out a muffled moan and pressed myself tighter against him.
“Cassyy! Luv meh!” I mumbled against his lips before everything went dark.
I woke up in a strange place. My head was pounding and I let out a groan. I was expecting to see a familiar ceiling of my bedroom but instead I was staring at the roof of a leather tent supported by bones and sticks. I was lying on fur that was covering a haypile. I glanced at the tent entrance only to see two forsworn guards with spears.
It was pointless to ask where I was. I already knew and my assumptions were correct when Cael appeared in front of the entrance.
“Good morning, my Sparrow. I hope you slept well.”
He flashed a dashing smile toward me.
“Cael”, I lowered my voice, trying to sound as intimidating as possible despite the head ache that was starting to hit me with hammers inside my skull. “You dared to kidnap me?! Where’s Casavir?! If you even dared to hurt him, I swear your village will be obliterated!”
Cael chuckled, amused by my response.
“Meaning my village will be safe, my sweet Sparrow. I did not hurt your friend. I’m sorry for the sudden accommodation, but surely you understand that it is only temporary.”
“What do you want of me? Why the guards? Afraid I might run away dressed like this? With no weapons or armor.”
“You do have your magic and shouts, dragonborn.”
“And I wouldn’t use them unless the situation called for it.” I answered, glaring at him. “Cael, what do you want?”
I was hurt. I knew Bishop would do something like this – but Cael? He was a sweetheart but right now he seemed more like a jealous boyfriend. I was a fool for thinking Cael would be different. I had saved him for a reason. The reason being a possible ally in the Reach. He had said his life was mine. But for Cael to treat me like this? He was making me angry… and when I was angry, I wanted to kill people. And Cael’s throat seemed like a good place to sharpen my dagger.
“Isn’t it obvious, my Sparrow? I want you”, he said with a smug grin drawn on his face. “I want you to be mine. That white knight you call a friend won’t give you satisfaction that I–”
“That you can?!” I interrupted him. “Do you not understand, chieftain? Love doesn’t need to be consumed in order for it to be real! I love Casavir!”
“And what about the Dark One that was traveling with you? Did you ‘love’ him as well?”
“Don’t bring him into this discussion, Cael. I’m over and done with him. I want a man that loves me in more ways than one. Now let me go before I shout this tent into smithereens and then destroy your whole village.”
As I tried to walk past the guards, they turned and pointed their spears at me. I stepped back and glared at Cael.
“You dare to make them point their weapons at me, chieftain? You know very well that I can kill each and every one of your kind with one shout. If you’re not careful…”
I wasn’t that stupid. I wanted to shout as a warning but I had no means to defend myself against a whole village full of forsworn and Cael knew it. He just kept that annoying smug grin on his face to show his triumph in this situation.
“Just wait and see, my dear Sparrow, you’ll soon understand the true might of your so called ‘beloved one.’ And yes, you are free to take my life any time you wish, but not yet. I’m not ready to die just yet.”
I felt my blood boiling. If he hurt my Casavir, he would suffer more than just a loss of his tribe. I glared at Cael. I really wanted to kill him. For the first time in a long time, I just wanted to kill that bloody forsworn! I would be making a huge service for the Jarl of Markarth. I wondered if I brought Cael’s head to him, would I get a reward? The infamous Wolf of the Reach, dead and his head put on a spike in front of the Markarth gates as a warning to other forsworn tribes.
“Don’t look at me like that, my dear Sparrow”, he said with a dashing smile.
I met his gaze. Those gleaming sapphires put their spell on me. How dare my heart skip a beat! I turned my face away, only to feel my whole body shiver as if cold.
“My lady!” I heard a familiar bass resonating through air.
I glanced over Cael’s shoulder and saw my knight running towards the tent where I was being held. He drew his sword.
“Let her go you savage!”
I tried to walk past the guards again only to get pointed at with spears. I looked at Cael.
He stepped in the tent and pressed a passionate kiss upon my lips, keeping his hands on my cheeks. I squirmed but his embrace tightened.
“You stay right here, my dearly beloved Sparrow, I won’t let you out until that knight lies in pieces on the ground!”
Cael showed me a smirk full of self confidence. He pushed me at the back of the tent and drew both of his swords as he turned around. He stepped forward before leaping through the distance. I heard steel on steel letting out a distorted ring and it was left hanging in the air for a long time when those two started the dance of death.
“No! Casavir! You can’t win! Stop this!” I shouted in panic, running near the tent’s entrance, only to be pointed with spears again.
I watched in horror as I heard the two exchanging blows… listening to the horrifying clashes of steel ring through the air. My heart was jumping in my chest as my thoughts turned dark. The thought of losing Casavir filled my mind. Would I lose him to this forsworn chieftain that thought he could own me by declaring he wanted me as his mate?
Cael was swift with his double swords and Casavir was driven into full defense instead of attack and block. Time and time again I could see him stagger under Cael’s unrelenting onslaught. And once I saw Casavir lose his sword, my resolve became clear.
I would not stand and watch my knight die in this gods’ forsaken land!
Cael stepped in front of Casavir, lifting his swords to the final blow. That’s when I let my Thu’um ring through the heavens.
“WULD NAH KEST!”
I knocked the guards out of my way and I jumped against Casavir, pushing him further away just before Cael’s swords landed. I felt my flesh being ripped apart and I heard an animal scream in agony. Or was it me? The pain… the overwhelming pain. I gasped for air.
“My lady! NO!” Casavir shouted.
“Sparrow… by the Old Gods…”
I fell on the ground. I gasped for air as I reached to touch my back. I grimaced and looked at my hand covered in a thick red substance – my blood. I let out a groan of agony as I glanced at Casavir, his eyes were wide open, watching me bleed. He walked to me, glaring daggers at Cael. I gasped again as my vision started to go blurry.
“I never meant to hurt her…”
“It’s too late to say that now, you savage!”
Casavir’s arms surrounded me and I felt the easing feeling of restoration magic flow through me. Thank gods for Casavir’s healing powers! I clung to my knight, burying my face into his neck as tightly as I could with my broken body that was being healed by him.
When the pain and blurriness was gone and I could breathe freely again, I pulled back a little to meet Casavir’s concerned eyes.
“Are you alright, my knight? Did he hurt you?”
“No, I’m fine. But you, my lady…”, his voice was soft at first but then it rumbled like an angry thunderstorm. “This savage needs to die for his crime! He nearly killed you!”
I glanced at Cael who was on his knees, staring at nothing. His eyes were clouded, his mouth was a straight line. The bloody swords were lined in front of him.
“I deserve no forgiveness from her,” he mumbled. “For this crime, I will gladly die.”
Casavir picked his sword. I knew very well he was about to kill this chieftain but I stopped him.
“Casavir, wait! Let me do this.” I pleaded. As the knight looked at me with a question, I told him the reason. “His life is mine and mine alone to end! I’m the one to take it. Give me your sword.”
I stood up and the knight handed his sword to me. I took it into my hands – Gods I hated two-handed swords! They were big, heavy and clumsy. Nothing like the one-handed blades that I liked to use along with my bow.
I stepped in front of Cael, my shadow causing him to glance up to meet my eyes.
“My sparrow… I only wanted you to love me.” His voice sounded broken, like he had lost everything he possessed.
“Can I love a person that hurts my friends? My loved ones? You’re a savage, Cael, no matter how pretty the words come out of your mouth. You’re nothing but a savage.”
My voice trembled. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest. Yes, I had fallen for him. Cael was something different, something I always had hoped for myself. He had promised me the freedom I longed for from my fate. But I knew very well my fate was like a mountain, it was immovable. So no matter what kind words or sweet lies this young chieftain told me, I was and would always be the Dragonborn.
I placed the edge of the sword against his neck. Tears clouded my eyes and I let out a small hiccup as I hardened my heart that was still flapping like humming bird’s wings in my chest.
“Will you kill me now?” he asked quietly, still looking at me.
I tried to keep my voice low and steady. “Yes, I will kill you. You will never hurt my friends or anyone I hold dear again, Cael. ”
I couldn’t believe my voice cracked. Cael had won me with his words – with poetics and his empathy. I would have loved to be free. I would have loved to live in the same world as him. Free from my fate, unbound and released of my burdens. But I was never meant for that world. I was the Dragonborn, I had to save all of Tamriel.
I stepped behind Cael. I didn’t want to see his eyes. Those beautiful, breath-taking gleaming sapphires. Their spell was always too overpowering. I didn’t want to see their gleam go out as I decapitated him.
“I will never bother your friends. I will never bother you. You are still welcome here and only then I will speak with you, my dear Sparrow. Forgive me”, he said quietly.
I lifted the sword. I hesitated. I wanted him dead. But my feelings were in the way. I cried out as I slashed an open wound on his back, letting him bleed. Not even a sound came out of his mouth. He was breathing heavily, as if holding the pain in.
“With this mark, you are dead to me. You owe me nothing, Cael. Not even your life. You are just another forsworn to me now. If we are to ever meet again – and I pray to the Divines that we will NEVER meet again because I will kill you without hesitation. Keep your distance and perhaps you will be spared a fate worse than the one I’ve given you.”
“As the Old Gods are my witness, I shall do just that, my Sparrow.” he panted, slumping forward as if a heavy burden was laid upon his shoulders.
With that said, I walked to Casavir. I gave him his sword and we walked silently through the village, ignoring the mumble of villagers. By the time we got to his horse, my heart felt heavy.
“Casavir”, I said silently, my voice cracking and trembling.
“Yes, my lady?”
He looked at me and then he pulled me into a sweet embrace. I pressed my face against his shoulder, sobbing and hiccuping. His hand started to caress my hair and back. We stood there for a long, long time. When I had calmed down a little, I stepped back and looked at my knight.
“I’m going to travel alone once I’ve collected my gear from Markarth. You can return to where ever you need to be.”
Casavir’s sadness hit my chest like a dagger enchanted with frost driven through my heart. Even though calm, his words were full of sorrow and longing.
“Very well, my lady. I will return to Solitude, so if you ever need my assistance, you’ll find me again at the Winking Skeever.”
Some time later
Another bandit leader fell dead before my feet. I wiped my swords on her corpse and went further to the main room of the ruins. I checked the chests to see if the sought item was in any of them. And indeed – the shield the villager was looking for was in there.
Once I got out of the ruins, I called for my horse. I tried not to think anything but I always was thinking about something. How to survive a dragon fight, how to sleep through the night without being eaten by beasts… how to… How much I missed Casavir.
I felt my heart throb as my thoughts wandered towards my knight. I had longed for his company, but all the time I had to remind myself that we could never be together the way I wanted us to be.
I mounted the horse and let it run through the terrain freely so I could fall into my thoughts. I could still remember the feel of his gentle, passionate lips. The sound of his voice, his laughter. The gentleness – everything was blurred in my mind but still so vivid and fresh.
I returned the shield to the villager and continued my journey towards north.
Solitude. The name of the city embodied everything I was right now. I was so lonely. Just recently I had bought a house here, just so that I wouldn’t go inside the inn and see my knight sitting in his table, drinking tea in silence. I forced myself walk through the city, I had to harden my heart as I passed the door of the inn. I wanted to go inside. I wanted to see Casavir. I wanted to meet his gaze. I had tried to deny. I had tried and failed so many, many times. Even now, as I stood outside the inn, my hand poised above its handle I asked myself if Casavir really cared for me.
I sighed deeply. I missed Casavir so much that it hurt. But even so, I forced myself to turn and walk away. If I saw my knight now, I would make him break every promise and vow he had made. I didn’t want him to do that. Not for me. No matter how much I loved him. No matter how much it tore me that his vows would always be greater than our love.
I heard footsteps from behind me. My first thought was some guards were on a patrol, but then a cold, steel gauntlet landed on my shoulder. I glanced over my shoulder and met steel blue eyes.
“My lady”, he said quietly.
Oh, how I loved the sound of his voice! That deep, resonating, gentle voice. I cried out and jumped against him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He supported me with one arm, pressing me tightly against him.
“I had a feeling you would come here”, he whispered gently in my ear.
“I was… I was going to come to see you, but.. I thought it would not be a good idea”, I sobbed.
“May I enquire the reason, my lady?”
“Because our love can never… be consumed”, I answered sadly. “I want you, but you have your vows. I don’t wish you to make the decision of choosing me over them.”
He removed his gauntlets and threw them on the cobblestones. Casavir’s gentle hand lifted my face to meet his eyes that were full of love but also longing.
“For these past few months, I’ve done nothing but missed you. I’ve loved you in my dreams and in my thoughts. I’ve waited, I’ve longed. I’ve prayed. For my dilemma, there’s only one answer. You, my lady.”
His lips were soft upon mine. He pulled me closer as he started to devour me. By the gods! I gave in. I gave in to the desire that had gnawed my insides for far too long.
The kiss lasted for a long moment before we had to pull away gasping for air. His eyes were full of frenzy, my arms rested around his wide shoulders. We stared at each other, debating silently within our minds.
Casavir sighed deeply and he wrapped his arm around me. He then gestured the road with his free one.
“Shall we, my lady?”
“Hmm?” I looked at him with a question.
“To your house.”
I felt rush of blood and I knew my cheeks were turning red. “Yes, sure. Um, this way.”
The road to Proudspire Manor was too long. His arm was tightly wrapped around me as we walked across the street towards it. Our eyes were locked on each other, sending silent promises of endless pleasure.
In the middle of storming waves of our quaking passion, our voices called each other’s names. Our bodies intertwined, our desires burning equally as bright as the sun. We had been waiting for far too long and finally we could consume what was ours to begin with – true love.
Morning came all too quickly, no matter how many prayers I spoke to the God of time inside my thoughts. I was lying next to Casavir, my head resting against his chest, his other arm securing me close to him. His breathing was so calm, his heart beats rhythmic. His hand was caressing my hair.
“My lady”, he whispered softly.
“Yes, my knight?”
He let out a groan sounding almost embarrassed. His cheeks started to go bright red slowly. I looked up to meet his eyes that were gleaming with happiness. I smiled when I saw him like that. I started to play with a strand of hair that was out of place on his gorgeous forehead.
“Well… this might be a bit daft, but I wish to ask you a question.”
I giggled and stopped playing with his hair. I pressed my hand against his cheek and caressed it softly, looking deep in his eyes. “Whatever it is, my knight, you can ask me anything you want.”
He inhaled deeply. He was still hesitating.
“I should do it in more proper way”, he finally said. “This isn’t the right time for such a…”
“What are you talking about, Cassy?!” I laughed, poking his beat red cheek playfully.
He cleared his throat and looked deep into my eyes. His hands surrounded my face gently. I stared into his eyes, deeper than deep till I saw my own reflection. I saw determination and gentleness. And so much love I that I felt like drowning into it.
He pulled me into a kiss – sweet and soft, loving and gentle – his fingers running through my hair as he wanted to look into my eyes once more.
“My lady, will you marry me?”
The question rang in the room for a long time. I didn’t believe my own ears. I just stared at him. My beloved knight that I had always wanted to be mine. I placed my hands upon his cheeks. I whispered my answer so silently only he could hear it.
“Yes, Casavir, I will marry you!”
His laughter rumbled like a thunderstorm through the whole house – maybe the whole city. He pulled me into a strong but gentle embrace and I laughed with him. Then reality hit my face as my laughter was cut short, as if I had never laughed at all.
“My lady? What’s wrong?” he asked concerned, caressing my hair and cheek and looking into my eyes.
“Are you… allowed? Are you sure you can? Won’t there be consequences? You are a paladin – well – you were a paladin.”
I spoke silently, almost afraid to say my thoughts out loud. His proposal seemed like a dream and I had just woken from it. Maybe I had heard wrong. Maybe he didn’t ask me to marry him.
His hands surrounded my face and he stared into my eyes with those steel blue gems of his.
“It is as you said, my love, I was a paladin. The only vow I want to keep from now on is my wedding vow to you”, he said solemnly. “And if someone dares to come between us, they will taste my justice.”
I cried out slightly from happiness that was overflowing inside of me. Casavir’s love was too gentle, and I had faced so much cruelty since I came to Skyrim that it felt like a dream. Something that was about to pass me by – offer a moment of peace before the curtain of harsh reality was lowered in front of my face.
“Casavir!” I cried out and pressed myself against him. I heard him groan as I let my curves press against his bare skin.
“My lady”, he groaned again. “We should discuss…”
“Discuss what, my knight?” I whispered seductively while straddling him.
He looked at me with lustful eyes. He drowned his fingers into my hair and pulled me into a passionate kiss.
Whatever it was it could wait for a few hours… our desire for each other had to be quenched right here and right now….