Tagged: Not a member of the English
KailiaParticipantMay 20, 2017 at 6:21 pmPost count: 6
Before I found SRM, I was super disappointed that the men I found even remotely interesting, either weren’t marriageable (Ralof and Ulfric) or the romance went only as far as “Oh you did this quick quest for me. You have an amulet of mara? shall we get hitched?”
So I went out searching nexus and… all I found was the big blue cat Inigo, not interested, many very very ugly men who used the vanilla marriage option, and nothing that was appealing or custom voiced nor environmentally or quest aware. Then one day I goto youtube, and found MXR’s video reviewing SRM 1.0 and bam! Here I am! I loved 2.0, but how I ended up on this site was because of the riften thane ctd. Regardless, I absolutely love this mod, and it gives me an option in a sea of female followers.CathleenParticipantMay 25, 2017 at 12:54 pmPost count: 1
Here is my testimonial. I suffer from depression, and the month of May is always difficult due to the fact that it holds the anniversary of my grandmother’s passing. Normally, I’m in such a state of numbness that I can’t even move. However, with the update coming out, I’ve been able to keep my spirits up and not dwell on the sadness. Watching the videos being posted and everything that is posted to prepare has helped me so much. In fact, I haven’t been this excited for a release since Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows! I just want to thank Mara, and everyone that has helped with the mod, for it gives me a beacon of light in dark times. Thank you so much!BrookeParticipantMay 26, 2017 at 3:02 pmPost count: 13
I… have been debating for a while on whether or not to actually do one of these things, since I am a very, VERY private person when it comes to history but…. maybe I’ll give it a shot.
So where to start… I have a pretty good life nowadays, and am very thankful to be where I am. I didn’t think I would be so at peace with life. But I guess to truly achieve peace, you need to endure hardship first.
I don’t get along well with people, but it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just because I have severe social phobia and don’t go out of my way to make contact with anyone. Online it is just as bad most of the time. I find recently though, it’s becoming easier. I don’t know whether that is because of this mod or this community in total; it could be many other things, like a newfound confidence I never had, but I will say that it has certainly helped. I have lost a lot. I’ve been made fun of and picked on when I was younger, and over time I learned to just shut myself away from everyone. I was told it was because I laughed too much, or I was too loud, too weird, couldn’t pay attention, always stared off… I was a total wacko. Still am. I can count the number of true friends I’ve had in my life on one hand; and then I lost my best friend in a car accident when I was 14. I was just not good on making friends and keeping them. It got even harder to do so after that.
At home was not much better, and though I seem to get along with my parents more now… it just wasn’t a very good, normal upbringing. My father had an affair and ran out of my life a long time ago, when I was 3… I think he got bored. Not sure. I haven’t heard from or talked to him in years, and I’m not even sure where he is. Despite that, it never bothered me actually. I forgive him, wish him well, and I got over it. Strangely easily. And my mom remarried.
That… wasn’t easy though. My step father was an emotionally and physically abusive alcoholic. I first met him when I was 8. My mom had her reasons for marrying him, as we were extremely poor and even lived in a broken, wrecked up car at one point. She had a lot of anxiety since my father left us, as she was unable to provide for me and my younger brother. It was… a dark time, looking back at it. But someone introduced her to my step father, and… that was that.
As the years went by, things got worse and worse. Contstant screaming and yelling everyday, physical throwdowns, breaking of household items, you name it. I had to learn to stand up for myself, and I did. I was very reluctant; a stubborn child… and I fought back. I always did. I’ll skip the details, but I was hurt. A lot. Until eventually, up until when I was 18, it stopped. I think I knew why, though.
Just after graduating high school, I got a new job. I found though that over time, it became harder and harder to walk. Until I couldn’t anymore. And I had to quit. I was so occupied with trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I had lost my balance completely. I would puke often, and randomly. I would have moments where my memory was so out of whack, I actually forgot the name of the very college I was (so close) to attending. I had double vision some days. I couldn’t feel the lower half of my body. I lost hearing in my right ear (thankfully only for a few weeks though). I couldn’t write anymore, much less get my hands to function properly. Most of the time I could only use the left one. And I was so worried as to why.
After a very long story we found out it was MS. I think my stepdad actually felt sorry for me, because he left me alone after that. I was hospitalized for three days, and I was good to go. I have been ever since (with the help of very expensive, dangerous drugs). I could finally start college and begin figuring out exactly what it was I wanted to so with myself. I met my now fiancé in one of the first classes I took. And I moved in not long after. I continued taking classes and enjoying my new life with him, and he has kind of helped mend me and build my confidence these last 3 years. Enter SRM.
Then came this mod, and I could immediately relate with Bishop. Maybe not in all aspects, but I understood his character on a deeper level. It made me appreciate how wonderful my life is now, and that not all things in life are as bad as they seem, as the ranger discovers in the mod as well. And this community. It has always been very open, helpful and accepting to everyone who would come on or by. And I’m starting slow, but maybe through time (as I keep getting better already), I’ll be able to go out and interact with the world as well. And I’m starting to feel (a little less) like a freak of nature. 🙂 I’m learning to let loose a little more, and love myself, and even with the mod and Bishop’s own confidence also.
I don’t post this for attention. And there is nothing to pity as I am completely happy and content with my life thus far. But I would like to let anyone else know, anyone else who has ever been through or felt any of these things, that they are not alone. We’re all kind of freaks of nature I guess, just in a good way. 🙂lsoufkdParticipantMay 27, 2017 at 5:59 amPost count: 1
I can’t speak English, so in this BBS is always browse not only speak now I see this story, I can only use machine translation to write that speech.
I watched, play SKYRIM has four SKYRIM carried the first two versions of the mod I used to download, really is a very good mod.
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